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On Weddings with Zita, I tell viewers they’ll be “inspired by the experts.” Here’s the link to an interview with Connecticut wedding officiant and couples’ counselor Judith O’Connor. She’s the wise woman we all want to have as our friend. Judith works with engaged couples both before the ceremony and after the honeymoon. She suggests a dialogue that includes a special pillow.
Metal sculpture of bride and groom
Judith’s approach to relationships is clear and valuable. If you know a couple going through a rough patch, send them this link. Judith’s advice is eye-opening in a practical way we can all use.
Every couple deserves to have a ceremony that reflects who they are and why they fell in love. As a wedding officiant, my personal mission is to show couples what’s possible and help them create the ceremony of their dreams.
Most couples who contact me are planning a wedding for the first time. They don’t know what they don’t know. They assume a wedding ceremony must be a generic arrangement of sermons, prayers, and readings, something to be endured before the party can begin. They don’t know that their ceremony can be unique and truly personal without being affiliated with any religion and without having a single boring moment.
Newlywed Lindsay gets an eager greeting from English Bulldog Gotti
They don’t know that the right officiant is an alchemist who can take their fondness for the beach, their love of nature, their passion for animal rights, their commitment to humanity, their fascination with the cosmos – anything that inspires a broader view of themselves and the world – and transform it into the elixir that makes a ceremony spiritual. Continue reading
Posted in Ceremony Ideas, Handfasting, Weddings
Tagged ceremony ideas, Connecticut JP, Connecticut officiant, handfasting, oathing stone, pets at a wedding, spiritual not religious, wedding ceremony, wedding officiant, wedding wish jar
Hearken back to a time long ago when people believed the land was the home of the ancestors. Everyone knew that the spirits of loved ones who had died now guided and protected those still walking the earth. Everyone understood that physical survival depended on spiritual connection.
A stone that came from the land bridged the worlds of here and beyond. To swear an oath with your hand on the stone forged an invisible link to your ancestors. Break your oath and you break your connection. You risk survival. If your clan knew you’d broken your vow, their support would also be in jeopardy. If you didn’t honor a commitment to your ancestors, how could you be trusted? Continue reading
Posted in Ceremony Ideas, Cultural Traditions, Handfasting, Life in General, Uncategorized, Weddings
Tagged Celebrant, Connecticur officiant, Connecticut JP, customized wedding rituals, nondenominational ceremony, oathing stone, spiritual not religious, wedding vows
In the “Old World” of my Celtic ancestors, August marked the beginning of the harvest season. Country fairs called people from the fields where they grew crops and from the open lands where they grazed herds. August heralded a time to acknowledge hard work and enjoy its rewards.
In Ireland, Lammas was the first and most popular of the harvest fairs. Young men, muscled from months of work in the fields, competed with each other by chopping logs, lifting stones, shooting arrows, and tossing bales of hay, all in an effort to impress young women. Some local authorities prohibited such physical displays. They feared the unruly youth and their visible show of strength. What if the balance of power shifted?
August was also the time when those who owned land paid their taxes and others paid rent. In some parts of Ireland, those who owed money anxiously eyed the debtors’ prison, praying to see a white glove. Should the aristocratic symbol be on view, the peasants would enjoy a grace period. They needn’t fear arrest for lack of funds to pay their debts. At least not in August. Continue reading
An elegant mansion. A working vineyard. An historic hotel. A venue’s design, geography, purpose, and history speak volumes about the power of place. Here are three examples.
Lauren enters with her dad
The Lord Thompson Manor: Dreams Come True
The historic Lord Thompson Manor in Thompson, CT, is known for its romance, aristocratic grace, service, and exquisite attention to detail.
Bride Groom and bridal party pretty in blue
Wedding rituals included a handfasting and parental blessing with bread
Earlier this year, I was honored to officiate for Lauren and Brian. Their ceremony was held in the Manor’s garden. The box elder, stone walls and statuary speak of stability and history. A petal strewn path and chandeliers hanging from the wrought iron gazebo and from the limbs of stately trees affirm that the fairy tale wedding comes true here. I suspect husband and wife owners, Andrew and Jackie, have a magic wand.
Feel the enchantment. Continue reading
Yellow flowers represent the Sun
In June of 2015, I led a Summer Solstice ritual at Meg’s, a gift shop and spiritual boutique in Manchester, CT. With my European ancestors in mind, we envisioned people living in ancient times and imagined their anxiety as the sun’s light diminished with each passing day. Would there be enough light to grow food? Or would they starve? Would there be enough heat to say warm? Or would they freeze? Once winter came, would it ever leave? It’s no wonder the ancients held rituals to honor the sun, to plead for its return.
A ritual is a visible act performed with invisible intent. What kind of rituals did the ancients create for the Summer Solstice? They lit bonfires to connect with the powerful sun. They drank from sacred wells to connect with the tender moon. Why both the sun and moon? Because people whose lives were entwined with the land knew that too much fire burns, that too much water drowns. Continue reading
I’m often asked to create a ceremony for a couple who come from two different spiritual paths or follow no particular path but want spiritual elements to make the ceremony comfortable for their parents. Such was the case in a recent wedding of a Jewish bride and a Catholic groom.
The bride’s family wanted her to be married under a chuppah. While the groom’s family had no objection whatsoever, the mother of the bride was sensitive to their feelings. What follows is an amended version of the language I wrote for their ceremony: Continue reading
You don’t have to be Celtic to include a handfasting ritual in your wedding ceremony. Tying the knot is something any couple can do. For the guests, my adaptation adds surprise and a little humor. For the couple, a handfasting links them to a tradition both ancient and timeless.
Custom Celtic handfasting cord in red, green, black, white of Hindu ceremonial silk
Couples didn’t always exchange rings. Before that tradition became popular, a couple might stand at the hearth of a family member’s home, or gather in a place their community considered sacred, often a grove of old trees. Or, they might gather around an object considered significant to the community’s well-being, such as the blacksmith’s anvil. Why the blacksmith? He was the one who forged links and tempered metal to make it strong. Before a family elder, village official, or blacksmith, the couple would declare themselves united. To symbolize the commitment, the person in authority would use a cord to fasten, or “fast,” their hands together. The couple would then work to free their hands. Continue reading
Laurie takes in the joy of the moment / Photo by Carol Chaput
When I meet with a Couple, I ask dozens of questions. What are their hobbies and interests? Do they like to cook? Garden? Do they connect with their cultural roots? Is there a place they consider sacred? I use their answers to write their love story, a key element in their ceremony. Sometimes, their answers inspire me to create a new wedding ritual — like this one about the magical properties of trees. That was the case with Laurie and Alan. Continue reading
Executive Chef Matthew Seguro of Vida Doce in Newington, CT, is an expert on wedding cakes. In this segment of Weddings with Zita,
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Matthew talks about traditional cakes and trending cakes, flowers and frostings, and how to have an elegant display cake even if you’re on a cupcake budget.
Weddings with Zita features interviews with wedding experts. Launched in August 2014, Weddings with Zita is the newest show on the Zita TV Network, home to Page 1 (the show for writers with the reader in mind) and Full Bloom (the show that celebrates life). Eventually, all the interviews on the old channel (Zita Christian) will be moved to Zita TV Network. The website is being built at this very moment!
Zita TV Network is home to 3 shows on YouTube.com/ZitaTVNetwork