My Couples Inspire My Rituals

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Laurie takes in the joy of the moment / Photo by Carol Chaput

When I meet with a Couple, I ask dozens of questions. What are their hobbies and interests? Do they like to cook? Garden? Do they connect with their cultural roots? Is there a place they consider sacred? I use their answers to write their love story, a key element in their ceremony. Sometimes, their answers inspire me to create a new wedding ritual — like this one about the magical properties of trees. That was the case with Laurie and Alan. Continue reading

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The Wedding Cake – Beyond Butter Cream and Fondant

Executive Chef Matthew Seguro of Vida Doce in Newington, CT, is an expert on wedding cakes. In this segment of Weddings with Zita,

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Matthew talks about traditional cakes and trending cakes, flowers and frostings, and how to have an elegant display cake even if you’re on a cupcake budget.

Weddings with Zita features interviews with wedding experts. Launched in August 2014, Weddings with Zita is the newest show on the Zita TV Network, home to Page 1 (the show for writers with the reader in mind) and Full Bloom (the show that celebrates life). Eventually, all the interviews on the old channel (Zita Christian) will be moved to Zita TV Network. The website is being built at this very moment!

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Zita TV Network is home to 3 shows on YouTube.com/ZitaTVNetwork

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The Wedding Jar

Even the shortest, simplest wedding ceremony deserves to be special. It is, after all, a celebration of love and a commitment intended to last for life. It was for these simple ceremonies that I created a ritual I call “The Wedding Jar.”

A Wedding Jar to contain wishes and blessings for the couple

A Wedding Jar to contain wishes and blessings for the couple

I initially designed this ritual for same-sex couples who came to Connecticut where marriage equality is honored, where residency is not a requirement, and where there is no waiting period. I quickly discovered how easily the ritual can be adapted for use in traditional ceremonies, not only for the couple, but as a way to involve their parents, or the maid of honor and best man, or children when families are blended. Continue reading

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Game of Thrones and the Wedding Ritual of Circling

He calls her his “Moon.” She calls him her “Sun and Stars.”

He is Khal Drogo, the testosterone heavy, alpha male leader of the Dothraki warrior tribe – proud, fearless, and ruthless, at least in the beginning. Very Mars. She is Daenerys Targaryen, his wife – estrogen aplenty, beautiful, compassionate, and submissive, at least in the beginning. Very Venus. Theirs is an arranged marriage. These characters are from Game of Thrones, a television series on HBO based on the fantasy novels by George R.R. Martin. I’m a latecomer to the series. Watching season one last week, I was struck by the symbolism in the names Drogo and Daenerys have for each other and in what I see as a connection to the wedding ritual of “circling.” Continue reading

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Why Carry A Bouquet?

A Bride in her early thirties asked me if she had to carry a bouquet. She and her Groom had planned a small ceremony in the home of his parents. Fewer than ten people would attend. With international travel scheduled for the following week, the important item on their agenda was having a legal ceremony. They would have a big, traditional wedding next year, after the baby was born. Rather than hold flowers for this small ceremony, she would hold the Groom’s hands. I assured her there was no requirement that she carry flowers. I also explained why she might want to reconsider her decision. Continue reading

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Ritual: GARDEN GIFTS by Zita Christian

Many believe that eating basil will protect you and give you courage. And eating orange peel will make you fertile. True.

My daughter Laurie Neronha and I love to cook. Despite the aggression implied in the language of the kitchen — snip, chop, pinch, peel, pound, punch, beat, whip – we believe that a cook’s intention to satisfy, desire to nurture, and expression of love flow from the heart to the hands as they prepare the food. To that belief, I sprinkled the magical properties of herbs and created the ritual “Garden Gifts.” Continue reading

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Ritual: DESTINY AND THE RED CORD by Zita Christian

Ei-ling was delighted that so many members of her family were coming from Taiwan to attend her wedding to Jason. She wanted her mother to have a role in the ceremony but was sensitive to her mother’s concern about speaking in front of all the guests. With that in mind, I wrote a ritual called “Destiny and the Red Cord.” It’s based on a beautiful story from Chinese mythology. The text is below along with stage direction so you can visualize how it might unfold. Notice that the Mother of the Bride didn’t have to speak at all. Continue reading

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Ritual: GIFTS FROM THE DRAGONS by Zita Christian

To create meaningful rituals for Couples who don’t want a religious ceremony, I often incorporate their cultural heritage. For Jason and Ei-ling, I explored Polish wedding customs and Chinese mythology. I created several rituals for them. You’ll find one of them, “Destiny and the Red Cord,” in another post.
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Jason and Ei-ling’s ceremony was held on the coast at the Saltwater Farm Vineyard in Stonington, Connecticut. Alas, because of a scheduling challenge, Gifts from the Dragons was eliminated from the ceremony. I hope to invite the dragons to another wedding. Below is the text of the ritual along with stage direction so you can envision how it might unfold. I found the stones at Universal Companies. You can make your own using a gold metallic Sharpie and black polished river stones.

River stones inscribed in English and Chinese

River stones inscribed in English and Chinese

Continue reading

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Ritual: WIND HORSE by Zita Christian

Chris and Jennifer had come to Buddhism as adults. They wanted their wedding to give their guests a glimpse into the beauty and serenity they’d found on the spiritual path they’d chosen. With that in mind, I created the ritual “Wind Horse.” Here is the text of the ceremony as well as stage direction so you can visualize how the ritual unfolded. The ceremony was held at St. Clements Castle in Portland, Connecticut. The video clip shows how strong the wind was that day. Zita_Arbor_Flags

THE RITUAL
If you’ve seen documentaries about climbers scaling Mount Everest, you’ve no doubt seen pictures of prayer flags – five pieces of solid colored fabric strung together, blowing in the wind. The meaning behind them is ancient and honors the individual, the family, the community, the earth. Continue reading

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Ritual: LOVE KNOTS by Zita Christian

I wrote this ritual for Bill and Chelsea’s nautical themed wedding at historic Mystic Seaport in Mystic Connecticut. I’ve included the stage direction so you can visualize how the ritual was enacted. As the wedding officiant, I’m identified as “Celebrant.” LoveKnots_1
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THE RITUAL

Celebrant
Here in Mystic Seaport, the history and lore of sailing surrounds us. Knots are a big part of that world. We associate knots with sailors. But they aren’t the only people known for tying knots. Knots are a part of our life, too. We tie ribbons in hair and cord on packages. We tie the laces on shoes, the drawstring on sweatpants, the belt on a bathrobe. Some of those knots are to ensure something works; some are simply for beauty. It was the same in the Old World, too, particularly for the Celts. In fact, when sailors from the Old World embarked on a long ocean voyage, they often carried a sea bag of what they called “fancy work.” When the voyage ended and the sailors returned to port, they had made belts and bracelets, rings, and hair ornaments – gifts for family and friends, particularly for a sweetheart. Continue reading

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